The Dis-Enchanted Oracle

So, I came across this interview with Fantasy Artist, Jessica Galbreth on Facebook.  Apparently, after years of sharing her amazing images of beautiful winged Fairies, Goddesses and Vampires, she has decided that these talents were the result of "demonic possession".  Demons?  Really?

If you watch the interview in it's entirety, you will learn that Jessica became interested in the occult at an early age, experimenting with the Oujia board and Tarot cards, which ultimately led to the creation of her own, Enchanted Oracle Tarot deck and apparently, her demonic possession.  She even considered herself a Witch! :::Gasp:::

Gee, me too!  I grew up in a family that was very open in terms of it's acceptance of the paranormal.  We played with the Oujia board, held seances and read whatever books were available at the time on Witchcraft, Satanism, ghosts, hauntings and paranormal phenomenon,.  And yet, we considered ourselves a Christian family.  By this I mean, we were baptized, received communion and confirmation, celebrated Christmas and Easter and if we were so inspired, actually attended church on those occasions, didn't eat meat on Fridays and fasted during Lent.  We believed in God and for us, that was enough.

Delving into the "dark side" was scary and fun.  However, when presented with the fact that we really didn't know who we were inviting in during our Oujia Board dabbling sessions and seances....our parents pulled the plug on our connection to the other side and the Oujia board ended up collecting dust in the attic. 

It didn't stop me from eventually leaving behind my Christian upbringing to follow a Wiccan path.  Do I believe that this is the result of "demonic influences" left over from my "dabbling" phase?  Hell no! (pun intended). It was due to the fact that I had found a religious Path that resonated with me and where I found spiritual fulfillment.  I don't hate Jesus.  I don't hate Christians.   I simply believe that there is a spiritual path for everyone and one will ultimately know it when they find it.

Jessica says that her realization came when her daughter became frightened by her images.  Well, lots of things frighten little kids.  Dolls used to scare the shit out of me and I'm not entirely sure that they still don't. She also said that she felt as if a dark cloud was hanging over her.   According to the CDC, that "dark cloud" might be depression, which strikes 1 in every 10 adults.  I would begin there before I began blaming Satan's minions for the fact that I was not entirely thrilled with my life.  Even the most successful people find themselves dissatisfied with their lives, Winston Churchill, Vincent Van Gogh, Michelangelo, Edgar Allen Poe, just to name a few.  It kind of goes hand and hand with the whole depression thing.   Jessica also claims she felt "prideful".  Really?  Well I can't imagine why?   I wonder if she considered being proud of her accomplishments a sin before or after she was reborn? 

The way we find and embrace spirituality in our lives is uniquely personal.  No two people, even when sharing the same religious belief system, will experience Deity in the same way.  At times, the religious path which we inherited from our parents is enough for us and we feel no need to look any further.  Or, like myself, one finds no connection to the Path handed down to them and they seek spiritual fulfillment elsewhere.  That doesn't mean that there was something wrong my previous beliefs. It simply means that Deity had chosen connect to me in a way that I would understand and embrace.  A spiritual rebirth, in the purest sense of the word, shouldn't include the prompt condemnation of the Path one left behind.  In that case you've only succeeded in being reborn into a more hypocritical version of yourself.
 
All this being said, I find it regretful, if not a bit amusing, that Jessica now considers her talent, "Satanic" and all her successes demonically inspired. And yet, she is still able to create in a very similiar style, except now, with a more angelic, Christian influence?  Well...after all,  Lucifer was an angel once too and Satan is referred to as "The Great Deceiver".  Just sayin..

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

Dear Dead People....

Merry Meet Again, my Beloveds!

I'm having serious issues with dead people. 

Allow me to explain.  Dead people are now sending messages either to me or through me in ways they never have before and I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that!

If you've read my last entry, you know that my friend, Roy went to great lengths  to send a message to his fiance, Michelle from beyond the veil.  It was my pleasure and honor to help in whatever way necessary.

This morning, I received another message from my friend, Tommy, that I hadn't been expecting.

Tommy had a bigger than life persona.  He was, physically, the most beautiful man I have ever known.  His personality ran the gamut of every aspect one's soul could possess.  He was wildly impulsive, kind, incredibly funny and cruel. He depised Mayonaisse!  He displayed a child-like innocence, while exuding undeniable sexuality.  He loved to be the center of attention and it was virtually impossible not to notice when he entered a room.  Both men and women were enchanted by him.

Tommy and I became friends while working out at the local gym.  Our friendship grew when he pushed me to do "one more rep, you candy ass!"  I didn't even know this man, but knew we would soon be good friends.

Several years ago, Tommy decided to move back to Georgia. I was saddened by his choice to relocate, but knew that he would never be happy here in New Jersey. We never lost touch after his departure, but these days people don't talk, they text or update their status.  That was until this past January when Tommy's cell phone began to "butt dial" me on a daily basis.  He left me a  text message apologizing for the same and asked me to call him, which I did. We chatted for a while, catching up on what had been going on in our lives, but hadn't spoken since.

For the past couple of weeks, I have thought about Tommy often.  So often so that it prompted me to visit his Facebook page today to see what had been going on in his life.  Well, I believe Tommy wanted me to know what had been going on as well.  He passed away suddenly 4 months ago...my heart was broken..

Tommy shared with me things that troubled him since childhood and in doing so, always left me with the image of a heartbroken little boy with full pouty lips and sad eyes that was perpetually looking for someone to take care of him and yet, he would often push away those who loved him most.

Was I surprised to learn of his passing. Not so much. Tommy always played hard. He was fulfilling his dream of making a name for himself in the music business and lived a "Rock Star" lifestyle.

If anyone had the energy it takes to cross the veil it was Tommy.  I truly believe that he knew if he  reminded me enough of things about our friendship that I couldn't ignore, I would learn that he had chosen to leave this World behind far too soon.  

Seriously, T...couldn't you have just called!  

In Darkness, Light...

Tracy

Life Sucks? Blame A Witch!

Merry Meet and Happy Weekend Blessings, my Beloveds!!!

So, not so long ago I was asked by someone if our Coven had cast a spell on them because they had been experiencing a string of bad luck. 

My response was simple.  "No, we wouldn't do that.  The Universe works to keep things in balance".

What I actually wanted to say was, "No, we wouldn't do that!  But perhaps if your life didn't consist of anger, hatred, jealousy, cruelty to those weaker than yourself and random acts of douchebaggery, you might understand why it has chosen to treat you in kind". Of course, I didn't say that.

That being said, I do believe the Universe and/or the Gods keep things in balance, just not in the way one might think.    

Have you ever known a person so negative that they can suck the life out of a room just by entering it?  It's very uncomfortable just being in their company.  If, like the rain, you stand in it too long, you'll find yourself drenched by it.   So is true of those who shine.  The brilliance of their energy shines so that they draw everyone to them.

Not all who experience tragedy or hardship are responsible for bringing it into their lives.  I've seen the most horrendous things happen to the most beautiful of people.  It's difficult to understand or accept.  I've found the most comforting explanation is that this is a necessary part of the soul's journey.  One must live through, process and move past the experience in order to learn and grow from it. 

I believe that there are people however, who find it impossible to "move past" their most difficult life experiences.  They hold on to their anger, grief, fear or insecurities and allow them to color who they are and in turn, their entire existence.  In essence, they literally become their worst nightmare. 

We all grieve our losses, no matter how great or small those losses are.  Some are easier to move past than others.  But when one can find no plausible explanation for the unexplainable, they may look to place blame where none can exist.   You can't blame death on the dying.  Well, perhaps you can...but to what end?  Physical death is finite, so too will be one's grief should the appropriate help not be sought to work through the pain. 

Yet while grief may be a reasonable explanation for negative emotions, there are those who dance precariously through life behaving with reckless disregard for the way their actions impact on others, only to find themselves dumbfounded when an avalanche of shit falls upon them.   And their first inclination is to look elsewhere to place blame....with the exception, of course, being the mirror.

Ah...but the mirror is the one place we can't escape, can we? The gift of ourselves we share with others, for better or worse, comes not from our reflection, but from our soul, the seat of who we are.  We can dress up that image that looks back from the mirror, but inside we are unchanged.  This alone, for some.....should make for many a sleepless night.

And just when you thought a Witch's spell was to blame your misfortune....

Pleasant Dreams!


In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

 

Love Beyond The Veil...

Merry Meet My Beloveds!

How have you been? Yes, I know...it's been a while since we chatted, but my life has taken  on some odd twists and turns and I've only now sat down to take a breath!  :::Inhale....Exhaaaale:::

Ah that's better!!!

So, this weekend I've met with a startling revelation!  That being, that the dead are capable of using you like a  cheap hooker when they need to get a message to someone they love!  Allow me to explain...

A little over a year ago, I learned via Facebook that an acquaintance of ours was seriously ill.  I use the word, "acquaintance" because I can't, in all honesty, say that Roy and I knew each other very well.  We had mutual friends and attended a few events together, but sadly we never had the opportunity to become close friends.  What I did know of Roy was that he was a joyful, fun loving person, who had found his soul mate in his fiance', Michelle.

That being said, upon learning of his illness, I wrote to Roy to tell him how saddened I was to hear of his misfortune.  He asked that I not share the details of his illness, as he only wanted positive energy being sent his way.  He also asked that we keep he and Michelle in our thoughts. I was more than happy to oblige.

I heard very little from Roy afterwards, with the exception  a few of his progress updates and the the lovely, albeit bittersweet photos of he and Michelle's wedding.  My heart broke for them. Roy was diagnosed with lung cancer and his prognosis was terminal. A short time later I learned that Roy had passed away. 

Michelle wrote me to tell me that a celebration of Roy's life was going to take place in the Spring and that Roy would have wanted us to be there.  Strange, I thought...given that Roy hadn't really known us very well.

Michelle emailed me again when the plans were finalized and for reasons that were unclear to me at the time, I felt compelled to be there.  But why?  Surely there were others that knew Roy much better than my husband and I that would be more appropriate participants in a celebrate of his life? 

As uncharacteristic of me as it was (I've never been a fan of dead people), I knew, with absolutely certainty that on May 5th at 1 p.m., there was only one place I was meant to be!

As we drove to the ceremony, I mentioned to my husband how important it was that I be here.  His response was simple, "then you should be."

Oh Roy, you dead people are so much better at this than I ever expected!


When we arrived and upon seeing Michelle, I was almost immediately overcome by emotion.  There were tables arranged with photos of Roy as he enjoyed this life.  He was always smiling!  The center of the hall was set up with a beautiful Native American altar that consisted of an equal armed cross constructed of stones. Suddenly, I knew that I had something that I needed to add to the altar. 

I rummaged through my bag until I found a small, white heart shaped stone that I had been carrying with me for years.  I sought out Michelle and asked if she'd mind if I lay it on the altar with the others. Her response was simple..."a heart", she said with a smile.

It was then she told me that Roy had always teased her about her ability to see hearts in everything...in the clouds, the trees, etc.  If there was a heart, Michelle would find it.  Suddenly, I understood why was so important that I be there to celebrate Roy's life.  Roy had a message for his soul mate and I believe he knew that I would understand why it needed to be given to her in a way only she would understand.  
And undertand I did.  When my sister passed away, I asked her to send me a sign that she was ok. I asked her for something very specific, that only I would know. A heart shaped stone. Within minutes, it was there, lying at my feet.  I have carried it with me ever since.  The stone I placed on the altar celebrating Roy's life was exactly like one I found on beach after my sister's passing.  As with my sister, Roy had sent his message of love to Michelle  from beyond the veil.

As the celebration drew to a close...Michelle shared something that made the occasion even more poignant.  This would have been their first year's wedding anniversary.

Roy, thank you for this blessed gift.  It meant more to me than words can say.   Don't worry....we'll take care of  her.

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

In the Still of the Moment....

Merry Meet and Blessed New Year Family and Friends!


So here we stand, poised at the precipice of a New Year….2012. The Mayans believe this will mark the end of time as we know it.

And I don’t doubt this to be true, although not so much in its literal sense. I think there are profound changes taking place on an astral level that one can sense if they can allow themselves the time to be still and quiet their minds. There is a quickening in the vibration of the Universe. Many are feeling a pull toward a more spiritual existence. I, personally, feel a need to return to a much simpler, less stressful life, even if that means sacrificing the material pleasures that I’ve come to enjoy. After all is said and done, these hold no true value in the big flat screen, high definition, 3-D picture of things, but are merely illusions of happiness that satisfy a momentary desire. Surely they don’t represent a path to spiritual contentment.

The last three months of this year, while more prosperous, have been more stressful than I’d anticipated as well. I find myself experiencing life in glimpses, rather embracing those moments that should be savored. Still, I’ve been trying to appreciate these moments as they come, in smaller ways. Driving to work just as dawn is breaking and watch the sunrise in breathtaking colors that leave me whispering….”Oh God”, snuggling with my dog when I should be rushing to begin my day and dancing as often as I can muster the energy.

These are the kind of things that I never want to experience in a glimpse, but in a state of soul shaking, wide-eyed wonderment that fills my heart with more joy than anything money can buy. The promise that I make to myself in this New Year, should ya know, the Mayan prophesies actually fail to come to pass, is to embrace those moments every day that touch my soul.

For you, I wish more of those moments than you ever dreamed possible.

In Darkness, Light!

Tracy

Finding Myself

Merry Meet Family and Friends!

Ok, so where have I been?

Well, all I can say is that the Gods definitely have a sense of humor.

In the past 6 months, I have changed jobs 3 times.  How is that possible in this economy, you ask?  Magick!

I've recently taken a full-time job after having worked part-time for the past 8 years.  The best I can say is that the money is good and I'm gleaning some useful new skills.  The worst I can say is that I feel disconnected from those things that, up until now, I had enjoyed more than I ever realized.  

You see, I hadn't really been unhappy with my previous employment.  I actually enjoyed what I was doing, the hours worked well for myself and my family, and it paid well by today's standards.  So, why did I want to leave so badly?  Well, it was a family run business and the family in question operated at a level of dysfunctionality that created a constant exodus of well qualifed and hard working employees.  I had been looking for a job for the last two years and if you've been unemployed in this economy, you know that the job market has been...in a word, pitiful.  I began doing magick to move things along... 

And move I did!  Not once, not twice, but three times!  However, none of them suited me and after the third time, which by the way, isn't always the "charm", I realized why.  I broke one of the cardinal rules of magick..."be specific!" and of common sense, "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is".

You see, magick works very, very well.  At times, a little too well. If it weren't so, none of us would subject ourselves to the sideward glances and snickering encountered when one learns that we practice the fine art of Witchery.

Here are a few examples of just how well......

I have always loved Victorian homes.  I remembered wondering if I'd ever have the opportunity to own one.  Well, over this past Summer, we had a beloved friend who is a master carpenter, build us a storage shed in our backyard.  It's absolutely fabulous!  As I toiled in the Midsummer's heat, staining our new shed, our friend turned to me and said, "Wow, it looks just like a Victorian house!  And he was right! I'd gotten exactly what I asked for! I had just failed to mentioned that I wanted a Victorian home that I could, oh I don't know...actually live in!   I looked towards the heavens murmuring, "Seriously?!  You guys are just too funny!"

I also remembered thinking how much I'd love to own waterfront property.

And we were hit with Hurricane Irene....

Needless to say, it was less amusing the second time around!

So, you would think I would have learned something from all this?  Well, I believe I have...but as I mentioned the Gods definitely have a sense of humor, not to mention having job skills that include being detail oriented to degree that far exceeds anything the human mind might comprehend.  They are Gods, after all!

So recently, when I began, once again, working to find suitable employment, I felt confident that I was specific enough that I left nothing open to interpretation. 

I simply wanted a great job, that paid well, with great benefits, close to my home.

Well, I was thrilled when I was presented with a job offer from a company that has a reputation for excellence, offers great benefits, that almost always hires from within and with all the specifications I'd asked for!!!

However, as I reveled in my good fortune, I overlooked a few details that should have sent up red flags.  I was told at my interview that there had been "some problems".  My interpretation of this was that those problems had since been resolved and that I was walking into a better situation.  I had also been told that my boss could be "difficult".  Given that I've spent most of my life working in the field of medicine, I've learned that anyone who's job includes holding another's health and well-being in their hands, often possesses a Type A personality.   However, "difficult" should have a included, "intolerant of human error".   That being said, medicine is definitely a field where human error can have vast implications, so I didn't perceive this to be a deal breaker.   I also didn't realize that my coworker was crazier than a bag of rats, worked 10+ hour days and that when she need time off, I needed to do the same.  All this being said, it still wasn't the worst decision I've ever made. 

The worst decision I made was taking for granted those things that for me...are priceless.  Having the time to watch the birds in my birdfeeder, sit down to leisurely read a book or write, garden, spend time with my furry companions and sleep past 5 a.m.

Perhaps I'm being unreasonable.  I should be happy that I am gainfully employed in this economy...and I am.  I would just be happier if I had added two little words to my request....

"Part-Time"

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

Farewell, Irene!

Merry Meet Family and Friends!

Unless you live on another planet or in another country, you know that the United States east coast was hit by Hurricane Irene. It was a Category II hurricane that made land fall in North Carolina before making its way up the coast. By the time it hit us here in New Jersey, it was a Category I.

What one must realize is that we are not accustomed to our storms being large enough to be categorized. We get thunderstorms or an occasional tropical storm, which I personally find exhilarating, but nothing like this. The last hurricane I can remember was Hurricane Floyd in 1999, which seemed to pale by comparison.

I must confess, I was a little nervous, but felt certain we were well prepared. I had enough candles to light up the entire Village of Ridgewood on a good day, bottled water, flashlights, batteries, pet food, charged cell phones, ice filled coolers. I sat down with a nice glass of wine and waited for Lady Irene to make her entrance.

It began as gentle rain just before I went to bed and I considered the possibility that the media had probably hyped up the storm like they do every other “weather event”. I woke at about 1:30 a.m. to sound of driving rain and winds that were so strong I felt certain that our windows would implode.  And then we lost power. Now, I was no longer a little nervous…I was scared shitless! We all stayed awake until dawn.

As the sky began to lighten, making the situation feel a lot less ominous, my main concern was whether I’d be able to find the manual can opener so that we could feed the dogs and my French press, so that I wouldn’t die and/or become homicidal without my morning coffee. I manage to do both and neither with little effort.

I looked out the window, happy to see that there didn’t appear to be any more damage than one would find with your typical “bad” Jersey storm. There were a few tree branches in the yard, but nothing significant. The patio furniture and the potted plants on our deck were all relatively undisturbed. My rose bushes, that had been ferociously whipped around by the wind the night before, were perfectly secured to their trellises, and had beautiful buds just beginning to bloom. “Pfffttt, Hurricane Irene”, I thought to myself. I knew it was all “hype”.   Still, it was very windy and raining pretty hard, but I wasn’t worried. The worst seemed to be over and the meteorologists were reporting that by mid afternoon, the skies would clear and it would be a beautiful day!

I was peacefully sipping my coffee and thinking to myself that all we needed now was the power to go back on and Hurricane Irene would be a distant memory, when I glanced out our patio doors to see the backyard rapidly filling up with murky brown water! I screamed on the top of my lungs for my sleeping husband, as if he would be able to do something to stop it and watched as muddy water rose around our newly built shed and began swallowing most of our lawn! I was struck with an overwhelming sense of panic, but not for fear that our house would become flood ravaged.

You see, we have a fairly large, well established Koi pond in our yard. I’ve been caring for these fish for the past six or more years. These aren’t your common goldfish, but imported Japanese Koi, some of whom hatched in the pond and have grown to about a foot in length. And while I can’t say I feel the same way about them that I do my other pets, they are living beings and have brought both great joy and aggravation to my life….just like my kids!

That being said, over the years, I have had a recurrent nightmare of watching flood waters overtaking  the yard, flowing over the top of the Koi pond and seeing all the fish swim out into the muddy water, gasping for breath before dying on the grass. Oh.My.God! It’s awful!!!

I was in tears as I watched the water nearing my pond and realized that my nightmares were about to become a reality!

My mind was racing….there had to be something I could do, but what? I didn’t have anything large enough to hold all 22 fish and even if I did, how would I catch them all?!

Seeing how distraught I was, the kids did their best to comfort me, “get over it, Mom! They’re friggin’ fish!”

Still, I haven’t been practicing Witchcraft this long to back down from a challenge! And I certainly wasn’t going to stand by and just allow this to happen! There’s only “nothing” you can do, if you choose to do nothing!”

I ran out into the deluge and screamed on the top of my lungs, “Cut me a fucking break!!!”, which did absolutely nothing.

I ran back into the house and advised my husband that we needed to begin sandbagging the pond with the extra bags of mulch we had bought. He patiently explained that a few bags of mulch were not going to hold back that much water and that I needed to just “calm down”. Oh yeah, like that was really going to happen! I felt ill! And yes, I know they’re only fish…but they’re my fucking fish!!!

Then things got really weird…

I had recently downloaded a Ghost Hunting app on my IPod that comes with an EVP player. An EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) device monitors voice transmissions from the other side. I had been listening to mine just before the flood hit and had forgotten to turn it off.  As I finally began to resign myself to the fact that my backyard was going to end up being the World’s largest Koi pond, I heard my EVP player say the word, “offering” and suddenly, I knew exactly what I needed to do!

I grabbed a bottle of Jamison Whiskey out of the liquor cabinet and ran down the steps to the backyard. The water was about 4 feet deep in most of the yard and had reached the bottom step of our deck, a mere foot or so from the pond. I poured three shots of Jamison into the muddy water.

I ran back in from the pouring rain, completely drenched and passed by my husband while holding a bottle of whiskey. My husband asked, “what the hell are you doing?” Without answering, I ran to the medicine cabinet and grabbed one of the lancets that my father in law had used to test his blood sugar and ran back outside. I’m certain my husband thought that surely I’d gone mad, but if he hasn’t figured that out after 25 years, whose fault is it?

I pierced my finger and watched as three tiny drops of my blood mingled with the rushing murky water.

Then, I held my breath and waited.

We did sustain some significant damage, although have been truly blessed in comparison to what others have lost. The flood waters stopped three inches from the pond and have since receded. The fishies are just fine!

In Darkness, Light!



Tracy

                                        




My fishes are in there!!!!